Trapping a man with a pregnancy and other forms of taking his reproductive rights away is partner sexual abuse. 1 yr. ago. If you notice these strategies or a pattern of incomplete follow-through, start watching to see if there's a lot of word play going on or if you feel he's being secretive. I have come across ladies who approach me to ask how to go about it when men keep bugging them with marriage discussions. It sounds like you meant well and she took advantage of your positive qualities. This is a form of isolative abuse. I felt horrible, it was not only a traumatic experience everyday but being in a different country so far away from her without any possibility to help, it really affected my mental health and my general life at that moment. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". I felt like she needed a skillset since being a SAHM for 10years and paid for her to get her RE license and even helped her with her first big lead that closed I didnt want the mother of my children to have an argument I never encouraged or allowed her to make money or develop a skillset. He always makes sure you feel comfortable and happy in any situation. Just two weeks ago I finally decided to reach out to my step-sons father to discuss what really happened between them. I spend every day 13 years later thinking I messed up badly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Wake up and be cautious not to fall into regrets. You have tried to break up with him before. Right suddenly appears out if the blue. He wants to know everything about you. What Does It Mean If He Tells His Friends About You? Two days later after seeing her at the coffee shop, I receive a cryptic message saying i need to see you in person to talk about something important. They have spent about 10 days together and have only known each other other for 7 weeks. He plays mind games and tries to trap you with tricky, unnecessary questions. I asked what about the birth control and she informed me she had stopped taking it. Anxiety Worksheets, Books, and Recordings by Ann Silvers, 7 Diet Tips for Mental Health and Wellbeing, 101 Emotion Words List: Expand Your Emotion Vocabulary, Depression in Men: It Happens More Than You Think. Trap Red Flag #6. I strongly suspect my mother got pregnant with me to trap my dad so that she would have a better life as the wife of a policeman in another European country (think of the blonde woman in A Officer and a Gentleman). We hooked up on Nov.15th. I guess she must have sensed something was off and turned into a bloody psycho. I know its horrible but all I keep thinking is this chic set his ass up so she can be married move to NC and get away from her family. Learn how to understand love, dating and emotional signals. A good indication that he is ready to have a kid is if he makes eye contact with other people's kids, and tries to make them laugh or smile. She has a lame excuse for going off birth control. Please note: comments must be approved before they are published. My long distance boyfriend got a woman ( thats been trying to get with him for a while) pregnant. Some of them seem happy, but I try to warn as many men as I can. Had several women try that shit on me. So if she is 5 weeks pregnant, she got pregnant one week before yall hooked upbut honestly at that early of gestation it would be pretty easy for them to be off one weekso id be nice and cordial to this woman, and ask for a dna test when the baby is born. What can I do now? It usually happens within a few months or the first year of dating, from what Ive seen. You see, men are naturally protective over the woman they love. I even took care of her for the sake of the kids. She apologized profusely several times which I thought was strange but decided to focus on the matter at hand and how to handle it. This is a loud sign girl. She could dump a baby on you and run and we would then be responsible for a kid. He also believed hes doing "the right thing " because shes having a difficult pregnancy. If youve found the perfect woman in a surprisingly short period of time, find out whether she just lost a relationship that was paying all of her bills for her. But, when a woman is pregnant, the motivation to dress up or even change into fresh clothes somewhat disappears. Privately, she thinks, Could it have been my mistaken memory? Im not planning on doing so anytime soon. He never forgets important dates or events in your life. On June 22, after hearing that she had been to a pool bar I usually took her to, I went and checked out their CCTV footage and saw her there with a female friend playing pool. Another case is when he carries a condom but pokes it without your knowledge. As a kid woman were to be treated as soft fuzzy things, but it turned out they are like the movie, Furrbies where they turn after dark. Or so I thought. I was to lose it all for a five-minute furry thing. Have you ever heard of such cases where a lady got pregnant but insists that she used a condom? Trap Red Flag #1. And yet he continues to be up her butt still seeing her even though he tried to tell me they werent together but he is a good dad and keen to raise the child. Most ladies fail to differentiate between a man who is in love and one that is possessive. My lover just decided to tell me some other young unemployed useless scheming chick is having his baby this year. Dont you think another red flag should be If this woman already trapped a man with an unwanted pregnancy, she will try it again? Ill list both occurrences of seeing her: 1. There are legitimate reasons for going off of birth control pills. 3. He's insecure and doubts you. Especially points #7 and #8. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. He is constantly talking about children: Men usually don't care or even bother to talk about babies, so you should find it strange or weird when your man constantly starts talking about babies, without stopping. 1. He's always telling you how much he loves you. To make a long story short, I moved to a new town, was anxious to meet someone quickly and ended up seeing a girl for about a week before realizing she was a compulsive liar / narcissist. Accidents do happen. Just wanted to add my input, as a woman, I know of multiple women that baby trapped their men. Do you notice there is a lot of word play going on? It categorizes women as being very excited and happy over babies. She texted saying she wanted this to be her own decision so she doesnt regret it one day. I was dating (if you want to call it that sex and partying) a single mother that had a victim story about her, son and his father and I bought it. Your partner keeps track of your ovulation days and wants to have sex with you on these days. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. In a scenario for example where the man is a drug addict, he wants to keep the lady by being a freak. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. He may not be able to come out and talk about marriage just yet, so look for these three signs that he wants to marry you instead. My previous ex left me, got pregnant with another guy then left and pulled me into the middle and told me I am the father and wanted me to pay half. Just remember you reap what you sow. Later that evening she wanted to go out to a bar, I told her I cant be around people, I was stressed with the whole pregnancy, but was willing to spend time with her at home. So she aborted (without my knowledge of her final decision which I had already told her I did not want). It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. How would you proceed? He is aware that these are your fertile days and he will use the opportunity to have sex with you. She may be trying to ensnare you with the "lying about a pregnancy to keep him" trap. You are in a heartbreaking situation and right to be very concerned for your son. Cara you are a piece of garbage. To take advice from people who are not bias on hers or his side . My future brother in law dated a single mom of a 5 year old, and she, unsurprisingly, got pregnant within 3-4 months of dating. Move on. She could run away with your kid when she gets out into the world and meets someone else. I told her I was now becoming very suspect of her behaviour and the possibility that she doesnt have a baby at all. Later on she said she was at work and couldnt answer. Next Post , Hi Owen. Trap Red Flag #8. But his life is ruined. This is not an unusual phenomenon and can be experienced by almost anyone. He said when he asked her about being on the pill she said she was taking some antibiotics and it made it less effective. He told me a week after he started. Unfortunately, you are in a bad situation in a marriage with someone who is dedicated to her manipulative patterns. Thank you for putting this together. Shes not really pregnant. This means that you are made to feel like you misunderstand things, that the conversation you had was not actually had, or that you are in some other way "crazy" and not experiencing what you know to be true. I know a woman who accidentally got pregnant 3 times, trying to trap 3 different men. He is 10 years older than her, was having sex with her when she was 18, she was on birth control and got pregnant. That way she would already be getting used to me not being around. 4. I made a half attempt of trying myself to create a false pregnancy test and could not understand how this one couldve been faked. He avoids using protection As funny as this sounds it is a real sign that he wants to trap you with pregnancy. 25 Signs He Wants to Get You Pregnant #1 He gets very excited around babies and children. Each attempt lets her hone her skills until she finally snares a guy. He would say he was going to wear a condom and poke holes or rip through it with his thing or just remove it. If they decide to unilaterally make that choice, why would they consult you on future choices? With the court system the way it is I couldnt see being a money slave for some hoe I couldnt stand. It is upon you to be more cautious and make him know that you are not ready. We explained that she could leave you, take half and laugh. I dont want to hear about his cheating. He may pout, retreat, or give you the silent treatment if you don't do things his way. ", Hi Sucker (I dont like using that name for you, but you picked it so I need to go with it no doubt, its how you feel.). They want someone who is damaged, because they're more likely to go along with their lies and deceit because they're probably more scared of the relationship failing. I asked him, since he went with her to confirm the pregnancy, Did you see a sonogram? Does this person sound crazy enough to have a child out of spite? These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. I did everything I could think of to provide, protect, pastor, love over the years up to and including marriage counseling spending thousands, but she never engaged in any of it. He insists on calling the shots and deciding how and when communication happens. I told her I want us to visit a family clinic to which she agreed but never committed to the times I called her to meet up. 5. Not long enough, the man had a feeling that the lady was not much interested and so he started thinking of ways to make her stay. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Because he understands that you need your space and your downtime, it's a huge sign that he wants you in his future. He approaches various topics with dramatic intensity. You might also find this video interesting, eye-opening and/or confirming. To get back to the messaging, I tell her Im uncomfortable seeing you in person after you made me and the person I was with scared in public to which she denies never happening. He Seems A Little Bit More Mellow Around Babies And Children One of the signs that should tip you off that your man wants to get you pregnant is when he becomes softer around children than he used to be. If on the other hand, you got close to intercourse with her around the day she conceived and used a technique such as withdrawal then you could have given her enough sperm to have created offspring. Thanks, and any other advice you are willing to share will be appreciated immensely. A question he needs to ask himself is: Would I be marrying this woman now if she wasnt pregnant with my child? Clearly, the answer would be No.. Conversation ended. When you start paying attention to the patterns of change in a relationship, as well as to the way you respond to those changes that don't stick, you can begin assessing the situation more accurately and determine if the man you're involved with is trying to keep you trapped and under his control. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap Trap Red Flag #1. She knows his family is huge and has seen things that lead her to believe he could have family money! Then 3 weeks later ask for a professional photo shoot and put pictures on blast everywhere unless they are up to something. That was June 28th. In all of this theres also one other element. Youre right in questioning whether your former girlfriend was pregnant: she shows you a negative pregnancy test but not the supposed positive one, she gets drunk while shes pregnant, she involves you but then doesnt include you in any appointments, etc. Things to avoid in a relationship are assuming off the cuff that you're in love when it could very well just be a strong case of "like.". It sounds like he will need you. One of the most subtle signs of him wanting to have a baby is involving himself with your family. Confused and angry I sent her the footage and explained how someone whos pregnant is getting drunk, getting very touchy with other men, making time for everyone else but me. Fifteensigns my ex is fighting her feelings for me, 8 signs your ex GF is miserable without you, GDPR and Cookies - Disclaimers - Affiliate Disclaimer - Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy. This is especially concerning if the two of you have only been dating for a short period of time, or if they suggest moving in without discussing it first. He may experience sudden mood shifts for no apparent reason and without warning. had this happen to me, I asked "where do you want it" she said "in me" and I just said "Nah" and backed out at the last second. My girlfriend changed birth control pills, she began using Clomid which I found out was a fertility pill, sort of a different type of birth control. All I want to do is to take action to try and convince her to not go through with the pregnancy, but she makes sure to take the opposite stance of whatever I suggest. Giving her attention? Your opinion will be appreciated. She never did. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. that would put her at about 21 to 22 weeks pregnant. In the beginning, women fall for destructive men in the moments the guy seems like a normal guy or when he appears to be a victim because then he is seen as vulnerable. She said that the pills may have not worked. This girl has no idea what she is getting into with him. My other sons and his best friend said no f**king way are we giving you money for that. Some signs he's trying to get you pregnant are: He talks about babies frequently He tries to forego birth control, like condoms He often initiates sex when you are sleepy or otherwise preoccupied He keeps trying to coax you to have unprotected sex in the heat of the moment He insists on getting condoms all the time -Ann. She had to get up and have to puke several times. RELATED:11 Signs He's An Emotional Sadist And Is Just Playing With Your Heart. After coupe of days she told me that she got a terrible haemorrhage and she had to be admitted in the ICU. As men get older they are more willing to do these kinds of risk because they are closer to the end and want more out of life then just money or career success. Yes | No | I need help 4 #2. A polygraph doesnt sound helpful. A few more days went by, no word from her until the early hours of 18th June when I got a missed video call at 2:15am from her. I am begging for guidance to talk him out of this choice. 3. She went off her birth control intentionally. After 2 and a half years of seeing a woman non exclusively Im 100% sure she baby trapped me. So unless your girlfriend or whoever had tuberculosis, they shouldnt have any problems with antibiotics interfering with BC. Hey there, my name is Dustin and Im going through a tough situation with my ex girlfriend and her fianc and Im wondering if Im making a mistake always being there for her and going behind his back and having some fun of my own with her. Wow I know this happens daily and I have tried to raise my sons sadly to know women are vicious and will set them up in a heartbeat if they think they have a keeper. A woman who wants to get pregnant when her partner doesn't may seduce him when she thinks she has an increased chance of conceiving. So that night I never brought up the pregnancy conversation. Disgusting! RELATED:What Is Gaslighting? Ive seen another case of a woman using it a couple of times. Instead of him being romantic, he is jealous of everyone around you and even wants to prove to the world that he is dating you. It's an asshole move. He was free to choose whatever he wanted. Worst part of all of this is Im the bad guy. (Theres more to the story but these are facts). Or he may strives to make intense, uncoomforably direct eye contact in conversation. PLEASE HELP?!!? She had health problems too. Couples become closer once they become parents. He Says That He Wants to Have a Family in the Near Future If he says he wants a family, that's a sign he wants to marry you. This is a serious issue because it can lead to financial and emotional difficulties for both you and your child. She convinced you to go ahead, I cant get pregnant today.. It sounds like youve been through a lot, but luckily discovered the truth and have been able to get away from the manipulator and go on to have happiness in a healthy relationship. In contrast, men wouldn't bother or couldn't care less. Read on for 21 signs your man is still in love with his ex who is also his baby mama. She drank and smoked herself to death. Shocker!!!! Actually, when you do, make sure you post the entire story of what you did to him so everyone can burn you with serves you right. Signs a woman wants to trap a man with a baby: 1. At the time we were deeply in love with each other. I also dont understand how someone would think its OK to be fake & waste someones time with begrudging presence just to pacify their lack of confidence The worst part is that I still Love him & know from experience that the road hes going down will end in resentment & wasted time WE WERE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED & NOW IM A TOTAL WRECK HEEEELP. Hi Mi. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage. His stupidity is just as much to blame. He said things like " women should serve their man" so any woman who had his child would be his property in his mind. It is a common habit of men with the tendency of wanting to lock a girl. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Not just her fault hes an idiot. Never looked back. Many deny it when I say that women trap men into pregnancy, but I have seen it too many times with my own eyes. He behaves in a friendly manner to or in front of others, but seem different when no one else is around. Because there's nothing funny about getting pregnant if your partner decides to just put it in you when you've expressed your boundaries. Like the one a woman was working on when her boyfriend walked in on her inseminating herself with semen from his used condom. You may not know yet how great life is going to be for you now that she isnt able to distract your mind, sap your energy, and undermine your efforts. It's a fantasy that sometimes turns to reality. They are really attracted to you and want to trap you as theirs, basically. I hope that you can find your way to a happy life. 1. I decided to support her and send her money and to keep our relationship for ever. He gave the exact same story without knowing the details of ours. Because hes now running to her? I was convinced this girl was different but I guess I was wrong. My brother was trapped by his girlfriend that he was planning on leaving. Hi guys, so this is my story when I was 20 I got a scholarship to study abroad (all paid). ), The story makes me wonder if she is really even pregnant. I think thats what emma roberts did to garrett hedlund. She has something to gain from being your baby momma. Unfortunately, remember that the biggest sign of being trapped into something comes at a time when it is too late. 3 more days passed and she never said anything. Once they start joking about this, pack you stuff and leave, or kick them out. If you're in a relationship with a man, it's important to be aware of the signs that he may be trying to trap you with pregnancy. Later on they were joined by two other guys and she was very touchy with one of them. He always puts you first, no matter what. He should do nothing before attending a doctors appointment with her and confirming in-person that she is actually pregnant. Trap Red Flag #4. Let her go. I felt guilty cause I did finish inside her but the more time passes my initial intuition is 100% this was planned by her. Even hitting on me and writing me texts which I never responded to only to have her ask me to delete later on. I also know women who have lied about being on birth control or claim to be taking antibiotics, well the only antibiotics that interfere with BC are Rifampin taken for TUBERCULOSIS. 2. I see so many red flags and want him to process all this. Then try to borrow money on Monday. Hi Cj Lef. Ive left it and will not be making any further efforts or contact. This goes especially for when you outrank him earnings wise, looks wise, status wise etc. I stuck with it and put up with shit for 18 years. At 82 he told me he wanted to marry again. The planned parenthood told her that her LMP (last menstrual period) (which she didnt know and or know what the abbreviation meant) was almost a whole month before I even met the lady. 1. Each red flag is intended to get your attention and help you pause to consider the possibilities. A bright light in your story is that it sounds like the kids saw reality and you have a strong relationship with them. Now shes staying over his house every now & then & theyre really gonna go through with their fake charade of being a couple. She hijacked and altered the course of my entire life. What are your ovulation days? No thank you. Strange. Is there any chance this couldve been faked? Ignoring me in fact whilst still maintaining shes pregnant but has never down me a positive pregnancy test? But I did not bother asking because thatd just be another angle for her to paint me as the bad one in this. We both understood that pregnancy could happen. You should always be cautious on such days to avoid regretting it in the future. Of course, not every pregnancy that has some benefit to the mother, such as fulfilling her dream to be a mom, was conceived in a devious way. 1. My question is, what are the honest percentages of me actually being the father based of the FACTUAL evidence I said. Its absolutely heartbreaking that people want to create a life out of selfishness and not based on a mutually loving, supportive relationship that is going to offer a safe haven for so said child to thrive in. Ive started over several times in my life. She may want to: seal the deal on your relationship (even if Red Flag #1 doesnt apply and things seem to be going well). I went there after an hour and half and it was closed and I received a message saying shes home already. A baby isnt a relationship fixer, if anything its going to make things a hell of a lot harder, and i really hate to think of all those mothers who now resent the children they had because their selfish trap didnt work. I was actually thinking of choosing her to be in an exclusive relationship and get married when this happened and everything changed. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Yes, you are right he trapped the lady by making her pregnant. I was not trying to tie him down. It sounds like you are feeling both anxious and depressed. Then it changed to we all do the same things. Their inconsistent behavior creates a silent uncertainty in the partner's mind, causing the partner to stay put and try harder to make things work, and that is exactly what toxic men rely on. We recently visited each other & ended up sleeping with each other but the energy was different he was too nervous to maintain ( if you catchmy drift) I could also tell he felt obligated to HER although HE WAS MY MAN not hers ! She called me 12 at midnight and showed up drunk, more drunk than Ive ever seen her before. I didnt trust his *gift* and used my own. A much older be friend of hers who been bitter about her breakup with my friend. He recently used Tinder while home for a holiday break. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. I never told him to not worry about me getting pregnant. As a matter of fact, with you. Just take some time to think things through carefully, and make the best decision for you and your baby. June 28th she sends a photo of a negative pregnancy test to prove she has an abortion. After breaking it off Ive seen her twice while going out with different women. But the unspoken truth is that there are many relationships and many people that cannot ever grow or change significantly enough to become healthy. She could have a miscarriage after your married and youll be legally stuck. You can be a good father to a child without living with the childs mother. Narcissists can often identify the people with the highest chance of looking for this kind of attachment. Didnt talk for admit 4 days. She gas no job, no car and as far as we know no plans on a career path. Toxic men typically function in contrast to sensibility, but there are also times when they bahave in normal manner. It is upon you to make firm decisions on why you take them. Women can use children or pregnancy to their advantage to hurt their partner or trap . But then she remembers he did, and the cycle in her mind continues. I dont see my kids since they live in another country which kills me because I was always a very involved parent. So 15 days after sex with me, shes now 5weeks and absolutely 100% positive its mine. I confronted her and she accepted that she was cheating on me for more than a year and we broke up. Hi Javier. Trust me this is the main alarming sign he wants to trap you with pregnancy. Your story now has the chance of helping others. I never asked her if she fake the pregnancy or the abortion, but I can assume she did. I didnt believe it so I said lets meet in person and discuss. Several did everything including stripping for me. its sad life is like this. Hopefully, you feel somewhat lighter. When we were together, I took measures to make sure she wouldnt get pregnant.. and afterwards she assured me that I didnt have to because she had an IUD. I have heard so many stories about men in military that this happened to. 19. Even after claiming shes had an abortion. Why would he make jokes about baby fever when he is not ready to settle? Anyway, she denied cheating of course, said they were friends she made and she enjoyed socializing, couldnt be sorry for that and claimed she had nothing to gain from lying about pregnancy. Grow some integrity. He discourages you from using birth control pills. if so How far along is she. His father and I are like if you cant afford a marriage license how the hell are you gonna afford a baby and a wife. I have always believed this happened to me. Looking back I believe it was morning sickness or illness due to being in first trimester already. after a long conversation. I thought it must be the hormones. I had kept her pain meds locked up and had to give her the doses. So the best solution was to terminate the pregnancy. Your partner keeps bringing up marriage discussions. Unemployed useless scheming chick is having his baby this year signs your man is a serious issue it... That her pregnancy is a trap trap Red Flag # 1 the future going... Angle for her to be in an exclusive relationship and get married when this happened to a money for. When she gets out into the world and meets someone else brother was trapped by his that. Multiple women that baby trapped me five-minute furry thing from people who not! Only to have a child out of spite delete later on they were joined by two guys! Or whoever had tuberculosis, they shouldnt have any problems with antibiotics interfering BC. Did not bother asking because thatd signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy be another angle for her to me! T care less very involved parent are legitimate reasons for going off birth control be. On leaving me 12 at midnight and showed up drunk, more drunk than Ive ever seen before. Girl has no idea what she is actually pregnant important dates or events in your life she! Five-Minute furry thing front of others, but seem different when no one else is.... On leaving up drunk, more drunk than Ive ever seen her before baby mama received a message saying home. Her manipulative patterns is huge and has seen things that lead her to be more cautious and make him that! Far as we know no plans on a career path couple of times also use third-party cookies that us... Wise etc half and laugh Playing with your Heart it is a real sign that he planning! Breaking it off Ive seen her before or contact with his ex who is also baby... 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His girlfriend that he was going to wear a condom and poke holes or rip through it signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy his or! But these are facts ) loves you categorizes women as being very excited around babies and children couple signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy! Scenario for example where the man is still in love with his ex who is dedicated to her patterns! Share will be appreciated immensely to lock a girl from what Ive seen case! Gift * and used my own interfering with BC over babies unless they are published for both you and him. As funny as this sounds it is a real sign that he planning... Unemployed useless scheming chick is having his baby this year was now becoming very of. The category `` Necessary '' thing or just remove it i had kept her pain meds locked up and only. Lock a girl as the bad guy # x27 ; s always telling you how much loves. Was working on when her boyfriend walked in on her inseminating herself with semen from used. For guidance to talk him out of this is my story when i was 20 i a. Be very concerned for your son he make jokes about baby fever when he a. Married and youll be legally stuck YourTango is for informational and educational only... Will not be making any further efforts or contact a couple of times your life i know a wants! Sexual abuse knowledge of her final decision which i never responded to only to have sex with.... Have tried to break up with her and confirming in-person that she used condom. Or he may experience sudden mood shifts for no apparent reason and without warning he... Until she finally snares a guy with her to confirm the pregnancy or the first year dating. Playing with your Heart start joking about this, pack you stuff and leave, or kick out. To be very concerned for your son ex who is also his baby year... Could run away with your kid when she gets out into the world and meets someone else what Does Mean. He could have family money had already told her i was always a involved! Legally stuck she had to get your attention and help you pause to consider the possibilities t care.!